What Judaism says about illness, loss and healing

The next session in Darchei Noam’s monthly lecture series will focus on end-of-life issues and hospice care

By ERIN ELLIOTT BRYAN / Community News Editor

The days of our years are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty years; yet their pride is but labor and sorrow, for it passes quickly, and we fly away. — Psalm 90

Rabbi Joseph Ozarowski found his passion in life after a stark disagreement with one of his yeshiva teachers, nearly 40 years ago.

“The yeshiva I attended received a grant for a chair in pastoral counseling and the Rosh Yeshiva at the time was very much against it and he made this huge speech. He was screaming: ‘The Torah is not a means to comfort people!’” Ozarowski recalled. “I was very uncomfortable with that… My gut said, actually, the Torah has tools to help people.”

In addition to studying at the yeshiva, Ozarowski was an undergraduate at Loyola University majoring in counseling psychology. He did his honors thesis on the psychology of Jewish law and bereavement, which later became his doctoral thesis and further evolved into a book titled To Walk in God’s Ways: Perspectives on Illness, Loss and Healing, which was published in 1995.

“I just found that this spoke to me,” he said. “The research I did in the Torah made me realize that my intuition from decades earlier was right on target.”

Ozarowski spent 22 years as a full-time pulpit rabbi in Pennsylvania and on Long Island. He is now a board-certified Jewish chaplain for Jewish Child and Family Services in Chicago and the spiritual leader of Congregation Darchei Noam in St. Louis Park.

To build on his work, Ozarowski and Darchei Noam created an eight-part series titled “To Walk in God’s Ways: Perspectives on Illness, Loss and Healing,” which began in December and runs monthly through August. Lectures are free and open to the community, and attendance at previous lectures is not required.

Darchei Noam is a Modern Orthodox congregation of 60 families whose members are “committed to lives that integrate Torah study and practice with the best of study, culture and careers in the secular world.” To present this series, Darchei Noam has partnered with Sholom Hospice, Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis (JFCS) and Beth El Synagogue.

The next event will be “Jewish End of Life Issues: Part 2” on April 15 at Darchei Noam. The lecture will discuss brain death and the Jewish definition of death, and a continuing discussion of hospice care.

Ozarowski will share his personal connection to Jewish hospice, which he experienced during his father’s illness and death. When his father began to decline, Ozarowski asked him what he wanted.

“He said, ‘I want to die in my own bed. I want to die at home, no more hospitals. I want my family with me. I don’t want to suffer. I want the dignity and the respect the Nazis denied me,’” Ozarowski said of his father, a Polish Holocaust survivor.

Ozarowski’s father died two years ago — at home — at the age of 96.

“I had to constantly remind myself that with my dad, I’m not the rabbi, I’m not the chaplain, I’m the son… but the work I did certainly informed me,” Ozarowski said. “People get scared of hospice, and they think you’re leaving them to die, it’s the end and, actually, it’s not. It’s a different form of care.”

In the Twin Cities, Sholom Hospice offers a full range of supportive services for patients and their families encountering the end of life. Although services are available to anyone, Sholom Hospice offers special comfort to Jewish families, such as a Jewish chaplain, trained Jewish volunteers, kashrut, and holiday and Shabbat observance.

“Sholom’s core values are to provide person-centered care guided by the Jewish values of community, honesty, fairness, peace and tradition,” said Jeff Sherman, Sholom’s community liaison. “We really see that working with folks at the end of life, while very sad, is an opportunity for people to have the highest quality of life possible. And we want to help ensure that through our services.”

According to Sherman, hospice care is appropriate when a doctor has determined that a patient has six months or less left in life. Sholom Hospice translates the Jewish experience into the model of a traditional hospice, and it is directed by federal guidelines.

A family can choose which services their loved one receives and all staff will serve the patient wherever they live — at home, in a long-term care or assisted living facility, or at Sholom’s Johnson Center, a space dedicated to end-of-life care located on the fourth floor of the Shaller Family Sholom East Campus in St. Paul.

Among the many services offered by Sholom Hospice are a consulting physician, registered nurse, home health aides, volunteers, social services, spiritual support, bereavement support, medical supplies and equipment, medications and a variety of therapies, including occupational, speech and physical, music, pet and massage.

Sholom Hospice also offers a legacy program that records a patient’s life story and the important information they want their family to know.

“The earlier you come [in to hospice], the more benefits you can get,” Sherman said. “You can’t make the claim that someone is going to be healed because of hospice. What it does say, however, is that because of all the things that are put into place — the physical piece, as well as the psychosocial piece and the extra attention — I really think that people’s spirit is lightened, it’s made better, and they really can relax and live their life.”

And Sherman says that hospice goes hand in hand with the Torah’s commandment to heal.

“When you’re at hospice, you’re not continuing the active healing process with that as a goal, you’re healing the soul,” he said. “It really is providing the same level of intention in caring for that individual, in a different fashion.”

Ozarowski pointed out that although the Torah commands us to heal, it also teaches us that life doesn’t last forever.

“Life is limited. God eventually says to us, ‘Kinderlach (children), it’s time to come home,’” Ozarowski said. “And when we come close to that time, hospice can provide all sorts of support… So is it kosher? When it’s appropriate, it’s glatt kosher in my opinion.”

And Ozarowski finds important parallels between Jewish hospice care and the story told at the Passover seder.

“It’s the notion of relationship and compassion, which is one of the themes of Pesach,” he said. “I think that all of us who have either done this professionally or been involved personally, or both, know that what hospice offers is the compassion and the care. It’s not just the administration of particular meds, but it’s people caring for people.”

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As part of the “To Walk in God’s Ways: Perspectives on Illness, Loss and Healing” series, “Jewish End of Life Issues: Part 2,” led by Rabbi Joseph Ozarowski, will take place 9 a.m. Sunday, April 15 at Congregation Darchei Noam, 5224 Minnetonka Blvd., St. Louis Park. For information, call 952-929-7833 or visit: www.darcheinoammn.org.

For information on Sholom Hospice, call 651-328-2091 or visit: www.sholomhospice.org.

For information on the Twin Cities Jewish Healing Program (TCJHP), a program of Jewish Family and Children’s Service of Minneapolis that “offers comfort, hope and strength to people experiencing loss, life challenges, illness, dying and grief,” contact Judy Marcus at 952-542-4840 or visit: www.jfcsmpls.org.

(American Jewish World, 3.30.12)